Did you ever had to open yourself up, completely uncover yourself? Did you ever have to unveil your being and thinking? Did you ever have to expose and uncover everything in front of a group. If you have you will understand that this sucks…

Today I had to do a presentation about myself. Not an elementary school presentation like ‘hi, my name is …, and my hobbies are…. I like this because ….’ You did have to do the presentation based on things you like. But it was more about ‘what are your qualities and what are your ‘faults”. This could have gone fairly easy, I could’ve just told the ‘story of my life’, but that wasn’t the purpose. You really had to reveal yourself, for an exam with a creative task to accompany it.

Like I said, this can be an easy assignment, but it’s a lot harder when your insecure and in a rather bad period in your life AND have to tell that to a class who are practically strangers to me. I builded my presentation in a way that the parts where I was most likely to break and cry were more to the end, so that I didn’t cry the whole time. That plan didn’t work out.

when it comes to expressing feelings I am way better at it writing about it than talking. I am more rational when it comes to writing, maybe that’s why I have less trouble sharing this all to random strangers on the internet. I wrote my text weeks ago, but somehow saying it out loud made it real, not just some thought in my head. I never realised how much of an affects some of these thoughts had untill I spoke them, for real, to a group.

Things I thought were just a strive where actually thoughts that are preventing me of doing so. I always thought that my strive to become smarter and more creative were helping me, but today I realised this is the same thought that make me feel I’m not good enough. I never realised how much this played inside my head, untill I started crying in class.

somehow the ‘support’ and compliments of my classmates (who are strangers to me) were strangely uplifting, even though they only heard part of the story. This show again that simple compliments can really make your day suck a little less.

so here is my simple compliment to you all if you having a rough day…

You are important, you do matter and you are as fabulous as a baby panda riding a rainbow coloured turtle!


My Happy List II

Hello everyone!

It’s been a while again, oops. this is exactly why I quit New Year’s resolutions… I fail at them instantly :s But januari is a trail month, februari is the real deal :p

But anyway, since the end of december I have been having hospital appointments almost every week. And since this week and upcoming 2 weeks I have been promoted to two visits a week. I spend more time in the hospital than in school, I guess. But it isn’t the greatest place to be, it’s a bit of a downer actually. So that’s why I decided to list up all the things I do like to compensate a little :p

My Happy List part II

  1. Full written pages
  2. glittery bath bombs (specially Lush)
  3. Home-made chocolate milk
  4. Face Masks
  5. Animal onesies (I have a zebra and a dinosaur :p )
  6. Fluffy socks
  7. My friends (obviously)
  8. Listening to music under water
    (my headphones are apparently waterproof so I tried it and it’s amazing! note: apple headphones DO NOT survive this awesomeness)
  9. Listening to K3
    (it’s a Dutch children’s girl group, but I love it. Going to their concert in may! #ChildhoodMemories)
  10. Pizza! I looooooove pizza!
  11. My pink unicorn
    (got it for my 18th birthday and it hasn’t left my bed ever since I got it!)
  12. “I don’t give a damn”-days
  13. Helping people (with whatever I can help with)
  14. Friday’s at noon
    (class bounding moment: eating pasta in a café and laughing a lot!)
  15. Music covers (especially acapella covers)

And that’s it for this Happy List, If you want to check out My Happy List part I, click the link :p I hope you liked it 🙂