Unnoticeable

I – am- unnoticeable. And sadly this isn’t something I made up in my head. This is something a person from my class actually used to discribe me. UNNOTICEABLE. To be honest, that stung. A lot. It hit me like a truck and hurts like hell, because that is the last feature I’d use to discribe myself. 

It is no secret I don’t particularly click with the girls in my class. I don’t feel comfortable around them, they don’t bother to even try, to reach out and get to know me. I don’t fit in. But worst of all I feel like I can’t be myself in that class. Everytime I try,I get laughed at, which doesn’t encourage to open yourself up again. It is a very shitty feeling. especially when for the last 2 years you had the change to be your loud, annoyingly enthousiastic self.

And then ofcourse there comes the part where you overthink and make it worse in my head. unnoticeable… does she meant boring, but thought that was to rude? with my very logical train of thoughts, it went more along the line of boring, not worth to put your energy in. I admit she isn’t my type of person, I would want to hang out with outside school either, but still.

I might not like the same thing like them? My definition of fun might not be partying with people I barely know and drinking all night long. I like watching movies, listening to music, reading and talking to people. I rather have dormparties, with a couple friends drinking a bit, talking a lot and having fun. But does that make me boring or unnoticeable? Just because I don’t feel comfortable doing those things with them? Because in that case, I love being boring.

Don’t get me wrong, not all 26 of them are like that. I do have a couple girls I spend lunchperiods and we’re getting along more and more. Also my boyfriend transferred from psychology to speech therapy, so now he does the same thing like me. And that does help me to be more myself and open up with other people too. I know what you might think, that girls who clinges around her boyfriend all the time, how annoying! I admit it is dangerous seeing each other that much, almost depending on each other to be there (he doens’t click with his class either). But for now that system works great. And maybe someday I can be the exclamation point I reallly am.

Sorry for the boring life problems, but I might help other, who know. It is not easy for everybody to connect to other people and fit in without changing who you are.It took me a while to post this one, I wrote it over 2 months ago when I just recieved the label unnoticeable. And I didn’t know if I should post it or not, but here is it anayway. Why have a blog to share your story if you don’t share it.

Thanks for reading, read y’all soon!

Lovies

This the season to be jolly…

Hello everybodyyy!! (sorry for the lay-out, I cant seem to fix it :/ )
Never in my life have I felt less christmassy than this year! It sucked cause I absolutely loooove Christmas spirit! I had all my stuff ready to make a christmas haul, because for some reason I had a lot of stuff. Didn’t impove the feeling though. Anyway I had all these blog ideas but literally no time.
Since this year Winterbreak turned into study season. I think I studied more in 2 weeks than I did all 7 years of high school combined. And still I’m going to fail hard. Even with my highly orginazed planning (yes, I’m one of those people, and yes I stick to it. Even worse, I’m a day ahead, you can imagine the hate of others when you tell them that :p ). So my planning AND watching Grey’s anatomy, I still don’t get it. And I have 3 subjects of anatomie, so please kill me now!
I do am proud of myself a little, because I do study as much as I can fysically handle (which is going to bed at 10pm, or I can’t function at all in the morning), and my breaks are not binge watching series, like I normally would. It was like an early new years resolution, being productive on breaks. So that means reading… the high quality literature of wattpad fanfiction, if you like Harry Potter fanfics look up kmbell92. Also I started knitting again, still nog any further than last year… just knitting patches, I can make a blanket with is, someday when I have 1000 patches. And writing as uch as I can with the limited creativity I have, during these boring times.
But studying during christmas and new year sucks really hard. Seeing my cousins get drunk, even my mum doing a shot, and you just sit there. Nah, I have to study tomorrow. And I’m saving my day for New Year (which was a good choice btw). But christmas was very fun, I got my uncle and I got each other for secret Santa and we got each other Harry Potter gifts. There was a lot of martini bellini, and it was fun seeing everybody again. But god, I can’t wait until all those children are a bit older, it’s a miracle I’m not deaf!
Then after a week of hard work, studying and liters coffee, IT WAS NEW YEAR! We all really looked forward to it. This was the second year we did this, and just like then we made food (this year was macaroni) had some drinks (waaaay less than last year, cuz studying). It was the best time of the holidays. Also did a secret santa And I got awsome gifts!Around 11pm, the boyz came (the boyfriends and their friends) wished happy newyear and left to the pub :p I was freezing my toes off!!

In my opinion studying during holiday season should be illegal, how can I znjoy my Harry Potter gifts when I have to learn. And now the holidays are almost over and I getting panicked about exams starting Monday, just hoping I won’t cry in the middle of my exam… at least wainting til I get home for that

Anyways read y’all later if my parents didn’t kill me because I failed everything! Lovies<3

Need Coffee to Adult

Hello everybody!

I don’t really know where this post is going today, but i felt like writing. So here I am writing whatever will come up to me!

With all this college stuff being I don’t really have a hobby anymore. I haven’t had a hobby for a couple years. But now it’s noticable I don’t have any. Last year I got together with friends alot. But now I’m just learning, sitting and staring at a wall until I find something to do. With that in mind I want to start wrinting again! It’s been ages since I written something besides my blog (which I love doing, but it’s not as regular as I would like). I want to continue writing my story on Wattpad ‘The Forgotten Tales‘ (very shameless self-promoting I’m sorry, but maybe views will encourage me to write?)

Something else happened that was very exciting! GILMORE GIRLS IS BACK Y’ALL! I’ve been waiting for this since I know there was going to be a sequel. I just wanted to cry all 4 episodes long. I love how it starts in Winter, “I smell snow”. And it was so beautiful and all the memories. I remember watching it with my mom when I was little, not understanding a word of it. Because english isn’t my native language and I couldn’t read then. But I remember watching it everytime it was on tv. It’s a little bit like Friends, it’s ALWAYS somewhere airing. And 2 or 3 years ago I wanted to see the show in chronological order for once so I did. And I fell in love.

It did made me realise why I love the gazebo in the park near my dorm so much. Somehow it must have reminded me of the gazebo in the show. It was my favorite place in the whole show. It’s not as pretty as in Gilmore Girls, but I love it :p

Futhermore (fancy words) I don’t have anything, except the fact that I just wacht 1 movie 6 times a day. It works motivating, and time seens to go faster. It’s like playing music while studying, I put on Nerve on repeat for the whole day. Like a toddler, I still enjoy the movie.

I do have the mind of a toddler though. I like very childish things. Socks with cute prints. kids shows and movies, even kids music. It’s just all so happy, teen music or adult music ain’t even close to happy. I prefer happy 😀 The only thing I do like an adult is drink coffee! And like an Honorary Gilmore Girl would say “Do you like coffee? Only with my oxygen!”

So that was it, a totally inprovised post, about nothing exciting really; I don’t know if it’s pathetic the most memorable thing of the last week is the premier of Gilmore Girls. Well, better luck next time!

Read you soon-ish

Lovies

I can’t make friends

Hello everybody!

This week I’d like to write about yet another things I have on my mind. This is slowly becoming my personal problem forum, where I just rant about things that bother me and pretend I can give advice about it to for other people :p

(Reminder: The advice I give about things like this are just stuff that helped me personally and maybe can help others)

So I’m in college now, I go to a school where magically only 2 people I know go to. I also didn’t know anybody in my year/eductation (however you say it in english). And I’m having more trouble making friends then I expected.

I don’t know what bothers me the most:
a) Not clicking with anyone in particular
b) Seeing that others have it so easy making BFF’s on the second day
c) That I start to think I don’t need friends

I’m not saying I don’t like my class! They are amazing people and very social. But you know when you found someone who just is your friend, maybe not the first week or two. But eventually you actually see them as a friend. I don’t really have that. I have girls who I think could become my friends, but the insecure part of me convinces me that they don’t like me and that they are just being friendly.

Then second, I envy those people who were (literally) acting like BFF’s since the second day of the year. I’m not even exaggerating on this one. But than on the other hand, how can you become so close friends with someone you don’t know?
The reason (I think) why I’m having such a hard time making friends is because I had the best friends ever. Two years ago I had nobody and then I changed classes nad had so many amazing friends. So maybe that’s what makes it so hard?

But do I need new friends? I’d wanna say know, but having friends in your class, to talk to in school or lectures, it makes it easier. you know schoolfriends, people you talk to in school, but the minute you walk out and you go your seperate ways. But eventualy they can become your friends.

But I have hope! The girls I sit with now are very friendly, nice and unless I’m wrong and they actually hate me. They might become my friends. But I’m friendly to everyone in my class, I talk to everybody, I help were I can (without being used, cuz that’s not how to make friends). It’s gonna be alright, I’m gonna be fine.

Thank you for reading another episode of ‘Complaning about basis problems that aren’t even problems, I’m just a wuss.’

read y’all soon

Lovies

TMI Tag

Hello everybody!

So like I said in last weeks post, I am going to do the TMI tag today. I have 3 very solid reasons to do so, 
1) My friend Senne (who you should check out, his channel I mean ;p) made this video, so I’m doing this too :p
2) I literally sweat out all my inspiration to actually make something original. It’s never been so hot in Belgium before!
3) I’ve been procrastinating some kinda important things that I should be doing now, but like I said… procrastination…

So here we go then 😀

  1. what are you wearing?
    I am wearing a bikini from tribord
    a black and white short from Jacqueline de Yong (pictures in my last post)
    and some simple grey top I once bought in some store I have no idea where
  2. have you ever been in love?
    Yes, I have
  3. have you ever had a terrible break up?
    No, I haven’t. Holiday boyfriends are already doomed the moment you start. Common knowledge.
  4. how tall are you?
    I am 1m74, that is 5’7” I think. Which is way too tall seeing my friends are maybe 1m64 (that’s 5’3”)
  5. how much do you weigh?
    I do not feel comfortable sharing my weight, because I don’t feel confident enough about my body.
  6. any tattoos?
    Nope, but I really would like one. Already got some ideas lined up :p
  7. any piercings?
    Do earrings count?
  8. otp?
    my first otp was Troy and Gabriella from HSM
    my otp’s change to what show/movie I’ve been loving the most at the moment.
    Right now it’s back to Stydia, you know Teen Wolf started again 😉
  9. what is your favorite show?
    Before Teen Wolf started again, it was Once upon a Time, I freaking love fairytales!
  10. who are your favorite bands?
    Pentatonix,
    Muse,
    Fall Out Boy,
    All Time Low,
    One Republic,…
    (Does the cast of Pitch Perfect count as a band?)

Solo artist (yeah, I found this question a little too specific)
Peter Hollens (a capella)
Lindsey Stirling (instrumental)
Taylor Swift
Troye Sivan

  1. something you miss?
    I would like to find some more great a Capella singers/groups
  2. favorite song?
    At the moment it is Mad World covered by Peter Hollens and Roundtable Rival from Lindsey Stirling.(depends on the mood I’m in)
  3. how old are you?
    I am almost 18!! 😮
  4. zodiac sign?
    Scorpio
  5. quality you look for in a partner?
    Somebody who doesn’t shut me down. Who doesn’t only embraces my weirdness but joins in :p
    someone who can make me laugh!
  6. what is your favorite quote?
    It is actually a combination of 2 quotes, but I think they go great together.

“You’re my Once Upon a Time…
… You’re my Happy Ending.”

First part: Pretty Little Liars
second part: Once Upon a Time

(It’s also on my tattoo list, if I find somebody to tattoo it with of course)

  1. who is your favorite actor?
    This also depends on what show I am loving the most at the moment.
    Actor: Dylan O’Brien and Colin O’Donohue
    Actress: Holland Roden and Lily Colins
  2. favorite color?
    Purple
  3. loud music or soft?
    I like both. But I especially like to play soft music really freaking loud, so that it just totally fills your mind and shuts down everything beside the lyrics. (You should try that with the song Mad World)
  4. where do you go when you’re sad?
    My room, watching my favorite movie, Pitch Perfect.
  5. how long does it take you to shower?
    5 to 20 minutes, depends on how much time I have.
  6. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
    Depends if I have time… all day
    If I have to go somewhere… an hour and a half, I am very slow and cranky in the morning.
  7. have you ever been in a physical fight?
    Does my sister count?
  8. turn on’s?
    Blue eyes and smiling a lot, If you have/ do that I will probably have a crush on you
  9. turn off’s?
    mean and negative persons, who can see nothing good in anything.
  10. the reason I made a blog?
    I was so bored, I was attempting to make a Youtube Channel, but I am way to shy for that!
  11. what are your fears?
    Spiders
  12. last thing that made you cry?
    Two days ago
  13. last time you said you loved someone?
    I say it like all the time to my friends. Because they’re the best friends I’ve ever had and they should know how much they mean to me.
    I may be saying ‘I love you’ a bit much, but it doesn’t lose its meaning.
  14. meaning behind your blog name?
    My URL is actually just something random, because what I originally wanted was taking, so I just kept trying things until I found one that was still available.

And my username is a name I will probably change, I just don’t wanna use my real name, because I hate it.

  1. last book you read?
    I love reading so this is actually really annoying that I don’t have time to read books. The last book I ‘read’ (50 first and 50 last pages) of the hunger games for school. It’s terrible.
  2. the book you’re currently reading?
    None, but I will be starting one, probably about equality, also for school (we need to read 3, cuz yeah who needs vacation when you can do homework? L )
  3. last show you watched?
    How I Met Your Mother (it’s finally finished, took me 3 years)
  4. last person you talked to?
    my friend Fanny
  5. the relationship between you and the last person you texted?
    She is one of my best friends!
  6. what is your favorite food?
    Pizza, no doubt!
  7. place you want to visit?
    London and Australia
  8. last place you were?
    Croatia
  9. do you have a crush?
    Yes, I have
  10. last time you kissed someone?
    New year’s eve
  11. last time you were insulted?
    Two years ago
  12. favorite flavor of sweet?
    sweet
  13. what instruments do you play?
    I played guitar (acoustic and electric, I sucked at it)
    and piano (Didn’t suck, just didn’t care to practice)
  14. favorite piece of jewelry?
    Earrings
  15. last sport you played?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… good one!
  16. last song you sang?
    Probably Bellas finals: Price tag / Don’t you / Give me everything / Just the way you are / Party in the USA / Turn the beat around (just had to type the whole title)
  17. favorite pick up line?
    I don’t really have one, but my friend said one once after someone’s presentation which I found very smooth

“Are there any questions?”
“Yes, what’s your phone number?”

  1. have you ever used it?
    Nope, but it was very funny when my friend did.
  2. last time you hung out with anyone?
    Tuesday
  3. who should answer these questions next?
    because I don’t actually know many people with a blog / YT channel or something I’m gonna tag Cara Delevingne, Queen Elizabeth and anyone who wants to do it!

WOW this was longer than expected! If you didn’t get bored and made it to the end of this, amazing! If you like it, please give it a like! Thanks for reading!

Lovies

Little Update :p

Hello everybody!

It’s been like almost a month since my last post, and i’m really sorry. I don’t have a actual reason or excuse for not updating. I was just being lazy and inspirationless. I do have some half-written blog posts ready, but I don’t feel like finishing them. So I’ll just do a little update of the past month.

The main activity that consumed most of my time after spring break was Once Upon A Time. That was the only thing that I liked doing. After spring break everybody is just sick of school, doesn’t really put much effort in it anymore. And that was (is) my way of procrastinating my homework til 2am and ignoring all the thing I should be doing right now. And I can assure you a “Sleep Is For The Weak”-marathon (that’s how we call it) til 3am isn’t a good idea when you have to get up for school at 6am.. nonetheless repeated it again the following night.

Another thing that happened, which actually is a valid excuse for not updating, my laptop broke. Which might not have been a big deal, but I was so scared to tell my dad that I just hid it for a week. So no posts without a computer. When I did finally tell him, he wasn’t’ mad, it was more a ‘I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later, my daughter is a clumsy moron’ kinda look. He helped me instal this prehistoric thing and we’re moving on.

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I’m pretty used to it by now, I have to save up for a new one if my dad can’t fix it himself. There is only one mayor disadvantage… I cannot watch my shows in my bed anymore. So I have to sit in my chair to do my marathons, and my bum hurts so much! I once tried to make myself comfortable… didn’t work, this is how it ended up. grabbed all my pillows and blankets and it’s even less comfortable than it looks 😦

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What else did I do? I got my Connor Franta Book!!!! YAY!!!

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Partly read a book about hipster for a short thesis for school. It was about Hippies vs Hipsters, but the weird part was in our library there was a book about hipsters, but for some reason there were none about hippies…

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And to finish this of, last weekend I went camping in France with one of my friends and her parents. We stayed in this beautiful town, with the most adorable houses and it was awesome. I wish I could insert some gorgeous pics, but I don’t have them yet 😦 but to give you an idea I do have some pics on my phone 😉

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Made a friend on our first day!

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this was the style of most houses in that town!!

And that’s it! That’s what I’ve done in the weeks I didn’t post anything. I hope you liked it, if you did please like 🙂 See y’all soon!

Lovies

Little Update ;)

Hello everybody!

How ya’ll doing? Did you have a lovely romantic Valentine’s date with your lover? Or was it more like me, without a boyfriend? But you don’t need a girlfriend or boyfriend to have fun on Valentine! going out with friends is so much fun as well.

I had a surprise birthday party to go to for a friend of mine, it was amazing. My friend was totally clueless and was really really surprised by the whole party. We’ve all been dancing and singing and going crazy all night long. You almost forgot you were alone on Valentine!

Then yesterday afternoon we got ready to go on a little holiday to the sea. We have a week vacation now, so perfect time to get away from everything. Although the beach in Belgium isn’t really something to be super excited about, because the weather is not good and you can’t actually go to the beach, our apartment is at the shopping street and close to the metro. so we can go wherever we want.

there isn’t really much going on lately, everything’s kinda the same. Planning stuff with my friends, staying inspirationless, still hoping the guy I like finally sends me a message, I started drawing again (for school, we have to make something, but I’m not sure what I’m gonna do, I’m now thinking about people with animal features, see picture below), staying positive, OH and most importantly I REALLY CUT MY HAIR! AND I’M SO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! Even though it means no more different hairstyles ( check out my previous post Cut it of to see them, if you haven’t already).

I should stop rambling about random stupid things and just go. I need my inspiration back!! 😮 If you have any ideas for me to do or for my art project, let me know in the comments below.

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AAAH SHORT HAIR!!

Antler Girl

Antler Girl…

I know it’s not much, but I hope you enjoyed it a bit; If you did please like or even subscribe! 😀

Lovies