Bare

Did you ever had to open yourself up, completely uncover yourself? Did you ever have to unveil your being and thinking? Did you ever have to expose and uncover everything in front of a group. If you have you will understand that this sucks…

Today I had to do a presentation about myself. Not an elementary school presentation like ‘hi, my name is …, and my hobbies are…. I like this because ….’ You did have to do the presentation based on things you like. But it was more about ‘what are your qualities and what are your ‘faults”. This could have gone fairly easy, I could’ve just told the ‘story of my life’, but that wasn’t the purpose. You really had to reveal yourself, for an exam with a creative task to accompany it.

Like I said, this can be an easy assignment, but it’s a lot harder when your insecure and in a rather bad period in your life AND have to tell that to a class who are practically strangers to me. I builded my presentation in a way that the parts where I was most likely to break and cry were more to the end, so that I didn’t cry the whole time. That plan didn’t work out.

when it comes to expressing feelings I am way better at it writing about it than talking. I am more rational when it comes to writing, maybe that’s why I have less trouble sharing this all to random strangers on the internet. I wrote my text weeks ago, but somehow saying it out loud made it real, not just some thought in my head. I never realised how much of an affects some of these thoughts had untill I spoke them, for real, to a group.

Things I thought were just a strive where actually thoughts that are preventing me of doing so. I always thought that my strive to become smarter and more creative were helping me, but today I realised this is the same thought that make me feel I’m not good enough. I never realised how much this played inside my head, untill I started crying in class.

somehow the ‘support’ and compliments of my classmates (who are strangers to me) were strangely uplifting, even though they only heard part of the story. This show again that simple compliments can really make your day suck a little less.

so here is my simple compliment to you all if you having a rough day…

You are important, you do matter and you are as fabulous as a baby panda riding a rainbow coloured turtle!

Lovies 

What do I believe?

Hellow everybody!

How y’all doing today! Hope you’re having a good time, and not studying for exams like most people. But because exams screwed up my whole planning I’ve been slacking on my blog again. So here is a cheeky midweek post. One month ago (I’ve been postponing this post for a while now) Jacksgap posted a video about a new project “What do you believe in?” and this got me thinking, what do I exactly believe in. Like I know what I believe in, but I’ve never really thought about it. So here we go.

to start with the obvious first. I do not believe in God. My dad is from a religious family, but my mom doesn’t. The always have let me decide myself what to believe. What I do like to believe is that their isn’t just 1 ‘God’, but that everybody has their own, sort of like a Guardian Angel. It would be nice to know that there is nobody out there to guide and protect you.

I might not believe in God, but I definitely believe in other life in the universe. It would be kinda pathetic if we were the only intelligent life in the whole solar system and others. Space is eternal, we haven’t explored all of it and we also never will.

There is another, maybe strange thing I believe. I believe in other worlds. And that is different then life on another planet or in another solar system. I mean a whole other world, with its own space and universe. Maybe this idea comes from all the fairytales, I’ve always loved fairytales, I am still obsessed with them. But to me fairytales come from another world. I think that all these worlds are connected, but not within reach. When I was little beyond our sky a new world started, not heaven, but the fairy world. It’s probably weird that I believe all that, but to me it all makes sense. I mean all those stories about vampires and werewolves, fairies and witches, they had to come from somewhere, someone had to come up with it, but how? Well maybe because they all exist, but in another world, who knows?

Maybe I believe all that because I just cannot accept that we are alone, that we are the only ones, because if we were we are doing a lousy job. 5% of humanity is doing something important, life changing or life saving with their life while the majority of the western world sits behind their computer thinking “wow, this life suck” (that includes me as well) and then there are so many people dying of poverty, of hunger. there must be a planet, world, universe that is doing a better job than us. At least that’s what I hope. And hopefully someday it will be proven, I am waiting for that day to come!

So this is what I believe in, everybody has his own opinion on life, this is only mine. I hope you don’t think I am too weird to think this, so if you enjoyed this please like. And see y’all hopefully very soon!

Lovies