I’m late again, but this time I do have a valid excuse! The internet in my dorm sucks, which makes daily tasks and habbits impossible and sometimes a living hell. I can’t see my online schoolnetwork, which has all my tasks and courses. It is incredably frustrating to have no internet when you’re so used to it.
But that is not the topic of this weeks post. Like my title predicts it’s about college and being prude. I wanted to make this post, because I feel like this is something you don’t see or hear often on media. Or at least I didn’t.
Being in college of uni is a big change and everybody has expectation about how it is going to be when you finally get there. You saw movies, read book, all romatisizing college life. You start dreaming and fantasizing about parties and how you will meet the love of your life in classes. And you really look forward to it!
Well that wasn’t the case for me. I been worrying and panicking about college since I was 16. Not in a good way, but in a way that gave me anxiety attacks. I am not this outgoing partygirl. I feel incredably uncomfortable at parties, even small ones in my hometown. I’d rather go to a cozy pub and have a drink with my friends and talk, then going to an overcrowded sweaty space where drunken people jump up and down. (not a problem with people who do like that, everybody is different).
Lately my group of friends has shifted from pubs to clubs. And I kind of felt the social pressure of going and liking it. And I tried to enjoy it, I really tried. I felt like a prude, like I didn’t belong here. And I ended up liking them for a whole other reason. I started drinking… a lot. it was the only way I felt comfortable there. And for some time I didn’t even notice how f*cked up that was. Until someone pointed it out to me, and I did realise drinking isn’t going to make anything better and that this ‘college life’ isn’t only this.
Like I said everybody is different and has different interests. If you don’t like parties, don’t go to them. Don’t feel pressured. Do what you like and don’t feel weird about not doing what other people do. Be yourself and do what makes you feel happy, that is college life. Doing what you love, exploring what you do or don’t like. And have fun, whatever you choose to do!
I don’t know if any of you feels or ever felt like this. But I did and writing about it helps me and maybe even others.
read you soon!