Still nailing the weeky updates (it’s a record I think!). So september is ending and normally there are some upcoming posts in the making! Get excited peeps!
My first week in college has ended and like my previous post said, I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to meet new people, to make new friends, to have a student life. The social anxiety level of this week was too much for me to handle. The school stuff was no problem, classes went fine, teachers are great, campus almost figured out.
But the social side of all this, it’s difficult. In my class, in my dorm, in this city, I have this feeling I don’t belong. I am relatively social person, if I click with someone at least. I don’t haven’t that with anyone (yet). And it’s hard, being alone in my room, nothing to do. My friends are in class or home. I don’t like being alone, or feeling alone (which is even worse). Luckily I still have some old friends, who already know the real me. So I can be myself at least a couple times.
Yesterday I went to a party organised by an organisation of 2 friends of mine. And I just broke. Seeing everybody, I missed them all so much. I stood there hugging and crying for 10 minutes with my friend. I practically cried all night. My best friend and I got thorugh our problems. It was emotionally too much. I am not ready. I don’t want new friends. And even if I make new friends they will never be like them!
I hope I will feel beter soon. cuz honestly this feeling sucks. But I’m gonna try the student life, you know partying and stuff. (which isn’t at all my interpretation of having fun, but I’ll try). There are a lot of events this week for students, so let’s see where that brings me!
See y’all later